Column: Buckling Down with Buckley

I cut my own bangs. Is it really such a bad thing?


About nine weeks after I cut my bangs. They have grown out to a pretty normal length but I still want to grow them out more.

This quarantine, I cut my own bangs without telling my friends or family first, and the truth is they don’t look good.

I had asked around if I should get bangs. The response was overwhelmingly no. My sister told my mom and took all of my kiddie scissors from my room and hid them. My friend would send me Tik Toks of people that had cut their own bangs and were crying over how bad it looked, but I could not be deterred. 

I searched for some scissors, no thanks to my sister, measured out where I wanted them to be and just cut. Now I have watched Brad Mondo, who is this famous hairdresser, so I knew you don’t just cut bangs at the length you want, you go longer and work your way up. I forgot this information as I was doing it, and once the scissors had finished making their way through the amount, they sproinged up because I don’t have naturally straight hair and was probably pulling them down to get a more even cut. I had given myself terf bangs. Eek. Let me just say I do not support terf ideology or trans exclusionary radical feminist, but I now looked like I did. 

My family discovered it a couple of days after I cut them. They wished I had gone to a professional, but I knew they definitely would not have let me go get bangs cut. 

Sure they don’t look good, but I am honestly glad I cut them. To worry about hair is so ridiculous to me. It grows back quickly and is a renewable source. It’s something I get to control. I’ve donated my hair twice before, so I understand how quickly it grows back. I’ve had a hideous pixie cut before. I can not pull off that length of hair, and my hair type did not get along with it well. I remember sobbing to my mom that I looked like Hillary Clinton. Still, it grew out. I wanted to dye my hair, and I did. To try and control something as your child’s hair seems silly, and I am glad I can do with it what I want.

According to Refinery29 article, “The Psychology of Cutting Your Hair at Home,” the amount of people cutting their hair in quarantine has gone up. Being isolated has made some people feel like they’re losing control, and this is an easy way to gain some of that control back. 

“The cut came, in part, from a desire to break up the monotony of life under quarantine, which Dr. Diller says it is a common response to experiencing a long period of isolation.” 

Dr. Vivian Diller is a psychologist and author of “Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change.”

Women enjoyed the freedom of being able to cut their hair. 

“I think it was surprising what a positive experience it was for me to cut my hair and how much better I felt in that moment,” said the director of education for a performing arts theater in Northborough, Massachusetts Meghan Montane. “It’s kind of liberating in a way because I was able to do something, affect something, change something.”

In The Today Show article “Color my world: Summer dye is a kid hair trend, but is it safe?”, Maryland mom Kim Jester has a son who has been coloring his hair. 

 “I understand the need to feel different and in control of your appearance,” Jester said. “Hair color is not permanent, and it’s an easy way for my son to express himself that can easily be undone if he changes his mind, unlike a tattoo or a piercing. I have absolutely no problem with it.

Some parents want to control their children’s hair, though, because it can look unprofessional to future employers or colleges or make them look as bad parents who can not control their children.  

“As pathetic as it may sound, we live in a culture which depends a lot on first appearances, and our parents recognize this and the potential risks a radical hairstyle may pose and want to protect us from the discrimination their physically ‘wayward’ offspring will almost inevitably experience,” according to Hairstyler article “Teenagers and their Neverending Crusade to Hairstyle Liberation.” 

Some parents take a more laid back approach. Parents make sure their kids listen to them when it comes to hygiene, but when it comes to their children’s hair, they leave it up to their child. 

 “I have a hard time getting worked up about hair choices, personally. The marvelous thing about hair is that it grows back, so it’s not as though a bad haircut is a lifetime sentence. That said, I do require a waiting period for any drastic changes. If you decide to cut all of your hair off, we’re not going to do that the second you decide it’s a good idea,” in Alpha Mom’s article “My Rules vs. My Teens’ Style.”

My bangs still look bad but they will grow out. In the meantime, why get upset over something that will grow back. It made me feel empowered, while I was doing it and it is not something I regret doing. Parents should not worry about their child’s hair because it grows back.